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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24017257">The Problem with Paintballs and SOLDIERs</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/VergilsDemonslayergirlfriend/pseuds/VergilsDemonslayergirlfriend'>VergilsDemonslayergirlfriend</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Humor, Infiltration, Military, Paintball, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Swearing, Trolling, Virtual Reality</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:07:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24017257</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/VergilsDemonslayergirlfriend/pseuds/VergilsDemonslayergirlfriend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is why you don't let SOLDIERs get bored. This is why you don't let them meet up together on the time they have off. Especially if they ALL happen to be bored. Compound the fact that two of the number that have gotten together are HIGHLY devious pranksters. And this is also why you don't pay them enough gil for them to go out and buy certain items...EXACTLY WHY!! Because in the end, all it spells out is T.R.O.U.B.L.E. as well as a fair amount of Trolling being done...of course you can't forget THAT! How COULD you forget that?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Genesis Rhapsodos/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Problem with Paintballs and SOLDIERs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay guys yer gonna have to fight me on this. I headcanon these guys as being in their 1st year of college almost as if they just drug their asses out of that hell hole we all call high school. I mean yeah in public they're all responsible n stuff but when the public goes away. I can see these guys just cutting loose and pulling this scenario off almost to a T. Speaking of if you've played original or Remake you'll know what I'm talking about I just had to move the general location due to plot and better access to other places. Oh and speaking of paint...do you know just how hard it is to get paint out of leather?!?!?! Holy flocking flock on buttered toast with bacon on the side!!! You might as well throw the leather away unless you know someone like is a huge flocking miracle worker of some sort and can wave a wand go "bibbity bobbity  boo" then the paint stain will be gone....other than that....you have an utterly destroyed piece of leather now....</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Dark Puppy, this is Crimson Phoenix, are you in position?" a female voice whispered softly, as she gently pulled up a ceiling tile to look down into the room below her before moving it back. </p><p><em>"Dark Puppy here, I'm in position. What about you, Golden Chocobo?"</em> a male voice whispered in return, also lifting up a ceiling tile and looking into the same room. </p><p>A groan was heard over the COM line that was being used. </p><p><em>"I really wish you guys wouldn't call me that..."</em> a second male voice started. </p><p>"But you look exactly like the love child between a Succubus and a Gold Chocobo!" the female voice chirped softly. </p><p>A hiss came from the second male voice, and an angry retort was absolutely going to be said, but Crimson Phoenix signaled for silence by tapping her headset. Their targets had entered the room below them and she didn't want them to be found out. Shifting her hand behind her, Crimson Phoenix drew out the ammo to her gun and loaded it into it. She also signaled for Dark Puppy and Golden Chocobo to do the same thing. There were soft clicks over the COM system that told Crimson Phoenix that their guns were loaded.</p><p>Sliding back the ceiling tiles of the room the three shooters were over, the three of them slowly slid the muzzles of their guns into the room. </p><p>"You guys ready?" Crimson Phoenix asked. </p><p><em>"Ready!"</em> Dark Puppy replied. </p><p><em>"And waiting!" </em>came Golden Chocobo's voice. </p><p>"Genesis is mine, his ass is going to be painted all neon green. Who has the neon blue again?" Crimson Phoenix whispered, adjusting the angle she was resting at. </p><p><em>"I do, I'll be painting Sephiroth." </em>replied Golden Chocobo. </p><p>"So you have neon pink then, Dark Puppy?"</p><p>It was more of a statement than a question. </p><p><em>"Yep, and Angeal is gonna be lit up brighter than a Christmas tree."</em> Dark Puppy laughed. </p><p><em>"Ahh, I'd watch that, Dark Puppy."</em> laughed Golden Chocobo. </p><p>"Alright, alright let's go. On my mark..." Crimson Phoenix chided softly, "Three...Two...One...Mark!"</p><p>Crimson Phoenix flipped a switch in her hand and the lights in the room went off, plunging the room into darkness. The three 1st Class SOLDIERs jumped up from where they had been sitting and looked around trying to find out where, if anywhere, people were going to come from. Suddenly, a soft <strong>pop</strong> was heard and a very unmanly yelp was heard and Genesis jumped forward holding the back of his thigh. Then suddenly there were tons of pops going off one after another, coming from all different directions. All of them hitting all three of their targets.</p><p>Yelps and shouts were heard abound. Then as suddenly as they had gone off, the lights came back on. The three 1st's looked around to see what had happened during the blackout. What they saw amazed and scared them at the same time. Splotches of paint covered the area around them and they were also covered from head to toe in that same paint. </p><p>"Who the hell did this?" yelled Genesis as he spun around in a circle trying to find where the paint had come from. </p><p>The ceiling tiles above the three of them slid back the rest of the way, and three bodies in black dropped into the room. All of them dropped into a crouch with their guns pointed at the SOLDIER 1st's.</p><p>"Well, it's pretty bad that you guys didn't notice us when you walked in. But now do you know who we are?" Crimson Phoenix asked as she stood up. </p><p>Sephiroth, for once in his military career, was speechless. Him, General of SOLDIER, Legendary Silver Demon of Wutai, outfoxed by what looked to be three young kids! Reaching down to the bases of their throats, the three would be attackers pulled their masks that they were wearing off, revealing their identities. </p><p>"Hey, Crimson Phoenix here!" said Amaterasu, grinning wildly. </p><p>"Dark Puppy, at your service!" chirped Zack, all too happy about the fact that they had been able to pull off their joke.</p><p>"Golden Chocobo, tagging along." added Cloud, his gaze fixing itself onto Sephiroth. </p><p>Genesis merely stared at Amaterasu as she stood in front of him. After all of the time that she spent in Hojo's captivity, he never thought she would be able to pull off anything like this. He was actually kind of impress...wait a second. She had just shot him in the ass with what seemed to be a paintball gun...Ohhhh, she was going to pay for that. </p><p>"That does it, Ami! This is the last straw! I have had it with your jokes! You are MINE!" he yelled. </p><p>Quite suddenly a neon green splat appeared in the middle of Genesis' forehead, making it jerk back slightly and Amaterasu started laughing hard. </p><p>"Dude, that's really bad Gen. I just shot you square in the head and killed you on the spot had that been a real bullet. Talk about a headshot, damn." she laughed. </p><p>Fire surrounded Genesis as he began to stalk towards her growling lowly. </p><p>"Uh oh. And that, my friends, is my cue to get out of here. Bye boys, hope you have fun." and with that, Amaterasu turned, dropped her paintball gun off with Zack, and ran out of the room giggling like mad with Genesis hot on her heels, yelling profanities at her back and the many ways that he was going to kill her. </p><p>"I knew that was going to happen and I told her it would but she didn't listen to me." Zack sighed as he strapped Amaterasu's gun to the belt he was wearing. </p><p>Sephiroth only face-palmed. Genesis may love the girl, but she definitely knew how to push his buttons and knew how to push them well. One of these days, Genesis just might forget that she was just as good at Materia as he was and try his luck at burning her. Damn, would he get a nasty ass surprise if he did. Sephiroth had walked in the VR room one day when Ami had been training, intending on doing some training himself. </p><p>He hadn't known she was in there, and when he had seen her, he had kept quiet and watched. She had called up a few monsters, and unfortunately made them stay still, but with the amount of fire she had conjured it was understandable. The entire field around her had filled with fire. And it seemed that it wasn't just normal fire. The fire was black as night, and though it surrounded her like a second skin, it didn't burn her. </p><p>Sephiroth had wanted to get Genesis to show him, but before he had managed to make it around the corner to the lift, Ami was out of the VR room and headed down to the lift herself. Not wanting to let her know that he had been watching,  Sephiroth had played it cool, and rode the lift back up to the same floor she did, waited until she walked around the corner, headed back into the lift, and then proceeded to call Genesis. He never believed him, but Sephiroth had a feeling if Genesis caught up to Ami now, he was going to find out Sephiroth had been telling the truth. </p><p>Suddenly a yell of, "Sonnova bitch! Shitfuckingow...<em>why?</em>" came floating down the hall along with a mad, cackling laugh and a door slamming shut, then Amaterasu appearing back in the room and yanking her gun from Zack's belt.</p><p>She quickly flipped a table and crouched behind it. Not five minutes later, Genesis stalked in, his beloved red duster heavily charred and smoking. Amaterasu popped up from behind the table and sent off a final spray of her paintballs and sent a line of them down his chest. Genesis turned his head away and shielded his face, but did nothing else. Seeing that Genesis was "out of fight" so to speak, Amaterasu placed her gun on the ground behind the table and walked over to Genesis. </p><p>Pulling down his arms so she could see his face, she gently reached up and tugged lightly on his shoulders. He opened his eyes and looked down at her before leaning down. Amaterasu smiled as she drew him into a soft kiss. </p><p>"I'm sorry..." she whispered softly to him, sliding a hand tenderly down his cheek, "I just wanted to have some fun. I didn't think you'd get this angry. Here, give me a min..."</p><p>She released him and turned back to the table her paintball gun was hidden behind. Taking the gun up in her hands, she walked back to Genesis and held it out to him. </p><p>"Wanna shoot a few rounds off on me?" she asked him.</p><p>Genesis looked down at the gun for a few seconds, a thoughtful look in his eyes, before shaking his head and pulling Amaterasu close to him. </p><p>"Nah, I'll call it even if you give me a shoulder massage when we get back up to our room?" he whispered softly to her. </p><p>A bright smile lit itself onto Amaterasu's face. She loved giving him massages. The relaxed look that he had on his face was worth the effort that she had to put into it.</p><p>"Sure, love to." she replied, sliding her hand into his and tugging towards the door. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well thanks for reading all the way to the end.😊 I would love to know wat you thought. I wrote this about 5 years ago and since then have been trying to improve upon my writing skills. I would love comments tips anything. Although I will please ask that you not attack the hell out of it.<br/>Find me @tenshiscientia on tumblr</p></blockquote></div></div>
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